About eight years ago I was sitting at my desk thinking of all the things I needed to do while I was following links to TED talks etc etc hoping somewhere the inspiration or motivation would come. I came across Steve Jobs’ commencement speech at Stanford University.
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
Oh my goodness, this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear and changed the way I felt about every decision I had ever made and every decision from that point on. It made so much sense to me and meant it was okay for me to continue doing whatever felt right in the moment, even if I didn’t know where it would lead.
In my younger years – and many of them, probably aged 8 to 23 – I suffered severe anxiety, panic attacks and OCD. I grew up questioning EVERYTHING, which I believe led to my anxiety. I tried to understand things our human mind cannot! Where does the sky end? Where do we go when we die? This is heavy stuff for anyone, let alone a child.
My questioning led to challenging authority, any authority. I did not understand why I should follow what others tell me to do just because they were older. As you can imagine, this caused me and those in authority over me a lot of grief. I didn’t rebel in the way many of my peers did but I was difficult to get along with for anyone who wanted me to do something specific. “Why do I have to eat dinner now, I don’t feel like it.”
I wanted someone to teach me how to find out what was right for me and to follow it, not tell me what to do.
I didn’t want to follow the traditional treatment for anxiety even though everyone told me I should and it would help me. It just didn’t feel right for me. I didn’t realise at the time but my pathway was being shaped by me following what felt right. I just continued to search until I found actions that felt right. At the time, I felt like a difficult and messed up person who couldn’t understand why I just didn’t follow what others wanted me to do.
I am not for a minute saying all my decisions were right. Looking back, and if I knew what I knew now, I may have done some things differently. At the same time I CAN see the dots are joined. I can see how it all led me to where I am now and although everything is not perfect – far from it in some areas – I have a connection with myself that could not have come from following what others wanted me to do. Having this connection has enabled me to help others find the same and led to the most rewarding job I could ever have imagined. In my role as kinesiology practitioner, NLP Practitioner and Life Coach over the last 20 years I have worked with people to help them create a peaceful mind and find their connection with themselves. I have realised on this journey the importance of gut health and feeding our bodies with the best quality whole food we can.
Recently, when All Good Things Cafe came on the market it felt like a no-brainer that it was something for me to pursue. I had experienced physical health issues including digestive problems, adrenal problems and fatigue. I’ve been on every diet known to man and four years ago found by using food as medicine I became the healthiest I had ever been. No more digestive issues, iron levels back to normal for the first time in my adult life, no more chronic fatigue and even my long-term skin problems were fixed. I had long had an interest in physical health and well-being and the role gut health plays in our mental state. My husband had been saying for years that we really should open a cafe.
Still, many parts of me were screaming “don’t do it” as I knew it would be hard, busy and turn my life upside down. But under that screaming was a calm feeling knowing it was right for me even though I didn’t know why. This is a feeling I have had often and thanks to Steve Jobs it is one I listen to without question. I don’t know where the dots will lead me but I do know that when I look back they will join, which makes me feel excited amidst the fear and chaos. Knowing the dots are joining makes the journey bearable in the traumatic times and exciting in the good times.
I am where I am now because I have sought out what feels right for me and even though this has caused much heartache, it has given me exactly what I always wanted, a connection to me that is louder than anything on the outside.
I actually look forward to looking back to how these dots will join and I am excited to be on this part of my journey with you as the new owner of All Good Things Cafe.
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